Kevin Atwater at Subterranean.
The Illinois-native singer-songwriter shares haunting melodies from his sophomore album, Achilles, at his sold-out hometown concert.
photo taken by Irmak Altinok
Promoting his sophomore album, Achilles, Kevin Atwater went on his biggest headlining tour yet, including a stop at Wicker Park’s Subterranean for a sold-out show. I’ve been a big fan of Atwater’s music ever since I heard his deeply honest lyrics and ethereal guitar melodies a few years ago. He has since gone viral, amassing over ten million streams on his biggest song, “Star Tripping,” and selling out shows across the country. I can gladly say that my first time seeing him live was nothing short of incredible.
As much as I can’t wait to see Kevin on a festival stage one day, Achilles is an album that demands a small venue. Covering a range of feelings from heartbreak to bitter acceptance and even vindictiveness with such emotional maturity, this is a heavy record that calls for a quiet, attentive audience.
And the audience delivered. The performance felt incredibly intimate. Kevin came onto stage—supported by just two additional band members: one on bass and the other on synth—and directly went into his album opener, “threat,” and the connecting track, “Jamie’s Daydreams.” Despite being a two-minute opener, this song has been on my rotation for months, and hearing it live was a magical experience. A backing track delivering the static and atmospheric sounds present in the original production, mixed with Atwater’s airy vocals and gentle guitar picking, set the atmosphere perfectly for the rest of the show. Hearing the words,
I'd tell her if you made a threat
But I don't think you knew the difference
When you cradled me and said
No one’s gonna love you
Like I do
and the subsequent repetition of “like I do” will forever be etched in my memory. Kevin’s ability to add weight to such simple daily phrases is what makes his storytelling so impactful, and his music so captivating.
After the first two songs, Atwater spoke for the first time, cracking a few jokes while acknowledging the heaviness of his music, inviting the audience to find a sense of serenity in being there to experience it together. His next song, “the cage,” picked up the tempo with its rather vengeful message and grunge sound. It also showcased his technical proficiency, expertly playing and singing the song in 5/4 rhythm, with alternating beat divisions, creating sinuous movement throughout the track.
The highlight of the concert for me was the next song, “rotted out with flies.” Released prior to the Achilles album, this is a song about being there for a friend who is going through a hard time—heavy in its content and its delivery. The venue was so eerily quiet that you could hear all the camera shutters, sniffles and the audience lightly humming the melody. Of course, that tension was quickly broken by Atwater, who introduced his next song, a cover, by saying “This is a song by a twink… I’m imagining all of my family members up there [in the balcony]; do y’all know what twinks are?” as the crowd erupted in laughter. The Illinois native from Downers Grove—a western suburb of Chicago—had his whole family there to support him, which made the show all the more special. He then played a cover of “My My My!” by Troye Sivan, during which I took a video of his family googling what twink means that I later sent to Kevin, who so kindly responded to my Instagram DM—easily my top interaction with any artist I’ve fangirled about.
Another absolutely beautiful and powerful moment in this concert was Atwater’s speech preceding “Call of Duty.” Struggling to hold his tears back, he explained, “This is a song about violence,” about his own experiences with violence and about his grandmother’s experiences with gun violence—and about how he chooses to respond to it with art. He described it as “a wonderful thing that came out of something terrible, [which] as someone who writes about pain a lot was very moving to [him].” The strength to take in cruelty and turn it into something as striking as this song is awe-inspiring, and I’m certain that this sentiment echoed through the venue as we became immersed in the song. Atwater choked on his words as he sang the lyrics
A man threw a bottle in front of the huge pentecostal
And called me a word that I used to take straight to my heart
When I tell it now, I skip around and leave out that part
A story I've never forgot, the word, the heights, the cross
The church, the night, my age, 21
I'll never throw a punch, I'll never touch a gun
Even if I could’ve used one
and I could see the light in his family’s eyes as the crowd started cheering, “Kevin, we love you!” Despite all the hate and pain in the world, there was so much warmth and love in that concert hall, in that moment, suspended in time.
After playing a few more songs, Atwater “ended” his concert with the title track of the album, “Achilles,” but not before making it abundantly clear that he was going to play “star tripping”—his most famous track—as his encore. Pointing at the small spiral staircase heading backstage, he said something along the lines of “I can’t climb up those tiny stairs just to come back in a minute, but just act like I’m leaving.” Being an artist whose music revolves a lot around the challenges, changes and acceptance that comes with queer love, “star tripping” was the perfect conclusion to his concert. The song ends on an upbeat note, and so did the concert itself. Encouraged by Atwater, the whole crowd screamed the song—the lyrics still echoing through me now, as they did in that concert hall:
I won't get in trouble for this
I'm not falling for a boy who thinks that falling's a sin
edited by Nicole Millan Ortiz
photo taken by Irmak Altinok
