How does love unravel us?
The power of an album when the artist has a clear and direct vision is unmatched. Lizzy McAlpine created something that is rife with attention, care, and beautiful melodies, and that can only happen when the artist truly knows music.
If you’re like me, you have to be in the mood to listen to new music. When an artist drops a project, and I’m not in the right headspace (whatever that means), I’ll save the album to my library and just wait for the time to come. For Older by Lizzy McAlpine, that time was while I was studying for finals. I figured that her album would be good background music as she normally produces “chill” tracks. But that study session ended up being a procrastination session as I listened to what would be one of my favorite albums of the year.
Older is a soft, raw record that takes the audience through years of McAlpine’s life and one particular strenuous relationship that went on for four years. Her lyrics are immensely vulnerable, and she does not shy away from the deeper themes like desperation, self-doubt, grief, and more. For the most part, they are carefully crafted poems where some of them have immediately comprehensible meanings, and others are more intricate and abstract. While you’re digesting and processing these heartfelt lyrics, you’re listening to beautifully composed and produced live instrumentals that we just don’t really hear from popular artists anymore. With this album, McAlpine has truly created a listening experience, a journey even, that one wants to have over and over again.
The opening track on this album perfectly sets up the atmosphere and ambiance that is to come. Starting off with just a somber piano, “The Elevator” is a short track, consisting of eight lines:
It wasn't slow, it happened fast
And suddenly, the only thing I saw was you
I didn't know the half of it
And suddenly, I had everything to lose
Can we stay like this forever?
Can we be here in this room 'til we die?
I think we can make it
I hope that I'm right
These lyrics, both completely cryptic and totally transparent, take the listener in, letting us know that this is a heartfelt album. The words are then followed by a whole symphony of instruments—piano, guitar, percussion, and even a mellotron. From the get-go, it’s established that McAlpine’s smooth voice, her profound words, and vivid instrumentals are key elements of this album. She invites us to start this album at the beginning of the relationship, when she was earnest and hopeful for the future, as we should be for the songs to come.
My favorite metaphorical song is “Drunk, Running,” track eight on the album. As the entire album is about this long, roller coaster ride of a situationship, this song uses addiction to underscore the downs it can bring. A situationship, for the uninitiated, is a relationship that is not fully solidified. It can be a romance that never became official, a fling that goes on for too long, or the on-again, off-again type thing, like it was for McAlpine. In fact, in her interview with Zach Sang, she mentions that the relationship was only official for less than two months, after they had been going back and forth for about four years. “Drunk, Running” relates their relationship to that of an alcoholic. She first writes, “Nobody takes it from your hand/Even when you break your leg drunk, running” as if she’s speaking to a person trying to get sober but relapsing. Later on, she changes the pronouns to make her romantic partner the substance, and her the addict. “No one stops me/Nobody takes you from my hand” and “Someone ought to hold me to my words” describe McAlpine making an effort to remove him from her life, but she’s not holding herself accountable.
The song that is the most unique-sounding is “You Forced Me To.” She sings, “I have changed/Because you forced me to” which I find particularly striking. Earlier on the album, in “Movie Star,” she says something similar, “Who am I to you?/Who am I to myself?/What are you changing about me.” A never-ending, never-going-anywhere romance changing you implicitly sounds like it’s changing you for the worse. And that’s something McAlpine is dissecting in this album, her decision to stay when she is completely aware of how the relationship is negatively affecting her. The layered vocals in this track don’t show up (as abundantly) in the other songs and create an almost eerie ambiance. The melody of the guitar sounds like carnival music, seeming as if you’re riding a merry-go-round, illustrating their relationship as a cycle that never ends, with its own ups and downs. This is emphasized by the first lyrics on the following title track “Older,” where she says, “Over and over/A carousel ride.” Imagine the allure of a carnival ride, how you never want to get off, and how you’re always ready for it to stop.
There are a million different musical choices that I really enjoy and appreciate all throughout the album. The strings and drums in the bridge of “Broken Glass.” The crescendo of instruments after the last verse of “I Guess.” The wholly majestic flute runs at the end of “All Falls Down.” The piano when she says the song’s title in “Vortex.” Just a cacophony of instrumentals that show the deep artistry and expertise she employs. And, having seen her live and watching her play complete renditions of each song and sounding exactly the same, I can attest that composing an album in this manner is as beneficial to the listener as it is the performer.
The closing track of the album is arguably the best of the project in all aspects—the lyrics, the instrumental, the vocals, everything. “Vortex” is most certainly the strongest song we hear, and that is saying something since all of the preceding tracks are already exemplary. It is the longest of the album, compared to the opening being the second shortest. However, its length is mainly due to the two minutes of just instruments and harmonies at the end of the song. I’m not complaining though, as this musical breakdown is the best of the album. It’s as if she took every emotion she had felt during the relationship, assigned each to an instrument, and let them all play a beautifully heartfelt symphony. Lyrically, this song is the most vulnerable and open, and vocally, it is the most powerful. When she is singing the loudest and most clear, followed by two soft lines, she closes out the song with deeply gut-wrenching lyrics:
And I’m tired of this and the way that it feels
I’m not there anymore, this has never been real
We’re just awful together and awful apart
I don’t know what to do anymore
Someday I’ll be able to let you go
Someday you’ll come back, and I’ll say no
And when you read these last lines of the album in tandem with the first lines of the album, it’s as if you can physically see the emotional toll this relationship has incurred upon her. And the hope that she had in this first song, the hope that this guy might be the one for her, has transformed into a hope in herself, that she will be strong enough to let it go forever.
Older is one of the best albums to come out in 2024. If you haven’t listened yet, I implore you to add McAlpine to your rotation. I am personally grateful that she was so open and honest in this project, as she created something that will never leave my playlists. Songs like these can only be made when an artist is skilled in more than just singing, and we need to make a considerable effort to highlight these artists as much as possible.
edited by Samuel Espinal Jr.
album artwork believed to belong to either the publisher of the work or the artist.
